On Unconditional Love...
Unconditional love can be so hard to receive for our human selves. Hard to conceptualize and embrace. I don’t believe that is because we are being challenged or asked to be seen and loved on a *soul* level but rather it is because we are being challenged/asked to be seen on a human level and be loved through our soul’s beauty wrapped in the imperfection of the entirety of our humanness. Souls are beautiful; of the two, I find them much easier to love and admire. They are perfect. They are liquid love glistening with the perfection of connection, divinity, grace, and truth. Souls are made up of the perfection of the universe because souls ARE the universe. Souls are glorious and shiny. Souls are infused with the music of divinity and oneness. Souls are the creation of the creator and the creator all in one entirely perfect orchestra of BEing. Souls are light and shadow meshed together to perfectly that the “color” is not even translatable into human words. Souls…their perfection is unmatched and yet souls need human FORM so that they can experience themselves.
Here is a rub…
Humanness is entirely different and, as such, I believe so much harder to believe that someone – maybe anyone – could see all of your humanness and love its wholeness in an unconditional way. Humanness is gritty and murky. It is weaved with experiences, both good and shadowy, that stack on top of themselves and are hardened and solidified by the stories we tell ourselves. Stories we craft about what we deserve and what we do not deserve based on how well we have - or not have not - shown up as the human we strive to be at our highest self – at our soul level. We craft and tell these stories based on things that have happened – or we have done - on a day in day out basis, with an experience by experience measuring stick. How heavy that is…how can one not have compassion for that unfairly weighted measuring stick and the impact it has on our human form? Our souls don’t have the weight of that measure because our souls are free from those limits.
Humanness is messy and chaotic, alongside being beautiful and glorious. That opposition can make it so hard to see ourselves the way we are on our soul level. Perfect in all of our imperfection. Whole in all of our humanness. Then, when someone who can see through the eyes of unconditional love sees us – really sees us - and still presents us with the magnitude of unconditional love, many times - as a result - we push away their grace and in turn we dim our own divinity and push ourselves farther away from ourselves. Then for “good measure” we pull out that measuring stick and beat ourselves up because we do not “deserve” the unconditional love that was being presented. All the while forgetting that WE ARE unconditional love. We have remembered to forget that through the limits of our human form. It is so profoundly sad to me that we forget that. How much self-abuse could we side step if we could just remember to hold onto that piece? But our human selves are forgetful because we value that goddamn measuring stick so much, it takes so much of our focus away and we forget.
Seeing – really SEEing - another human is also very difficult on so many levels. Not only are we being asked if we can love their wholeness and fullness unconditionally, but we are also seeing our own humanness in them and being asked to love ourselves unconditionally. To love all the things that their humanness triggers in us and comes to the surface to ask to be healed and treated with compassion and grace. To love ourselves unconditionally requires us to heal those wounds. Not only the wounds that are known to us – that sometimes we believe belong only to us - but the ones that are shown to us through the mirroring that happens when two humans see one another.
Here is another rub…
Healing is painful. It is birthing and rebirthing and rebirthing…repeat, repeat, repeat. Healing is messy and cares not of our stories from the perspective of allowing us to stay stuck in them - comfortably. It concerns itself with offering us the opportunity to find the ability within us to let those stories DIE so that we can BE ALIVE in our humanness AND love all of ourSELF unconditionally. Here is the things – to give us the opportunity – it must create a pain so great that it will prompt us to act. Human forms do not (generally) engage in great change or healing because they are so comfortable. No, we need the pain to exceed our tolerance level and then we take action. Healing cannot force itself on us and it knows that. It knows that we must ACTIVELY engage in its process to get to our next step in embracing unconditional love. So, it continues to present the opportunities…whether we take them and engage in those acts of healing - well, that is up to us. It will continue to present – it is quite relentless and here to help us, even though it doesn’t always feel that way.
When someone triggers us, it is (in my experience) much easier to stay mad at THEM for what they DID to us by being their human self and allowing that human self to be seen. Really what is happening in that trigger is that healing has shown up to present itself to us. To ask us – plainly and directly – WILL YOU ENGAGE WITH ME TOWARD YOUR HIGHEST GOOD? How magnificent it would be to say that saying yes is the easy road. Indeed, it is NOT. Saying yes invites the healing and the pain thereof, period. It also provides a way OUT of the pain but remember - - - we forget that part. Saying NO buys us some time. It requires us to live with the pain we are experiencing, for sure. But pain has a way of becoming so familiar and so entrenched in our stories that the pain we KNOW becomes almost life a lover we romanticize and hang onto from a place of need - - - for fear of the unknown. For fear of not knowing who we will BEcome past and through our healing.
Yup, another rub…
Saying “no” only buys us a little time before healing will show up again AND time is a fucking illusion. It doesn’t exist in the form we swear it is supposed to exist in. Time gives NO FUCKS about our measuring stick, our anger, our stories, our resistance, none of it. And when I say it gives no fucks – time is fucks FREE. Time is a relentless renegade who comes and go as it damn well pleases, believe THAT! Time laughs at the container we want to put it in and keeps it movin. So, when I am asking you to SEE me, I am also asking you to see yourself. I know that can be hard. When I SEE you, I am asking my higher self to show me what I need to see so that I too can heal. I can see you on a soul level so clearly - remember, that is the easy part.
So, for clarity – what I am asking you to do is to show me your humanness and to have the courage to see mine and work toward loving it all – unconditionally. I am actively trying to learn to do the same from a place of Grace...it is all a process.
I welcome your company along the way.
